Breaking up, especially after a lengthy relationship can be devastating! One minute you are happily attached and the next you are single again sometimes after several years with the same person.

Not only is your heart broken you are likely feeling quite confused and maybe even a little betrayed by your ex. Have no fear there is break up recovery in your future and if you play your cards right you might even get your ex back.

The first thing you need to learn is what not to do, yes you read that correctly, there are so many things that women do thinking it will bring their ex back when in reality it simply convinces him he made the right choice. Do not make these mistakes if you want to experience the best break up recovery, which is reconciliation.

First, do not begin to show up at all the places you know he is going to be at; this in some states is referred to as stalking and illegal.

As much as you want to see him and be near him, again your actions will come across as desperate and clingy, neither of which is attractive to most men. You want to actually go out of your way to avoid these places whenever possible.

Another common tactic is trying to guilt your lover into returning to your arms. While this might work in the short term, for a night or so, in the end he will simply leave you crying in your pillow again. Reason and logic are equally ineffective when it comes to reconciliation. If you want to achieve true break up recovery by getting your ex back some of the tactics are going to seem extreme, but they will work.