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So far so good? Fantasy Novel Chapter 1.?
It was December eighteenth, 1217. I was in my cramped wooden bed, heavy rain fell that night. Harder than I've ever heard before. My sleeping was troubled, and I heard a girls voice whispering to me. "Come on sleepy head" was what she said. "Then all our fun can start." At first it didn't scare me, but she said it over and over and her voice grew menacing. Until my heard felt like it was beating out of my chest. "David?" My fathers voice broke the spell. I woke up with sweat on my palms and forehead, and I looked up and around at my room. It wasn't much but it served it's purpose. Just enought room on the dirt floor to walk. Most of the time though, I wasn't even home. Our house wasn't much bigger than a charcoal burners hut you could find anywhere in the woods. A room for me, a room for my father and a room to cook in. It was home to me. "Whats wrong? Should I find a physician? It could cost some money but I'm sure I could find some," an expression of concern was on his face. He wiped his head of brown hair with the hand that didn't hold a sheet of parchment. My father was a scribe, and a very neat and good one too. Anything he was told to write, it flowed from his hands like a second nature. "No Alex, I'm perfectly fine," I lied, my head feeling feverish. Something was off today "Just fine," I stood up and stretched. I walked out my door and passed the other two rooms. They all looked the same except the wooden beds in our rooms. I walked up to the chunk of glass that served as a mirror. I flattened my black hair, and rubbed my eyes. Darn. It won't let me post the whole thing on here. Heres the rest.

Reply
Horsejumpergirl
Well I would be verrryyy interested in reading about a book set in 1217 cause I never read anything like that, but I am extremely confused. Your book needs to fit the setting. In 1217 I don't believe they had names like Alex. If they did I apologize I was just speaking my mind :) and also I think it would be more reasonable if you changed your dialogue because wwaayyy back when they talked soooo formally and differently and your text makes me think of present day. Hope I helped :) Keep writing and good luck... I really want to see how this will turn out :)




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